I am sorry to say, but there is no easy button. Or should I say, the only Easy button that I know of is the novelty item available from Staples ($5.98 Cdn the last time I looked). For the rest of us and for everything that we do, there is no easy button available. The accomplishments in our lives are not meant to be achieved without effort. They are intended to challenge and test our commitment and resilience to setbacks, failure and frustration. And yet, many of us continue to look for the silver bullet, the magic potion or the quick fix to achieve the goals that we have. And for some, it is a seemingly inexhaustible search for the quick win; if it weren’t, the lottery industry wouldn’t be the $100 billion business in North America that it is. However, if you genuinely want to achieve and accomplish your goals, it is the effort that you put in long after others have quit that makes the difference. As the cliché so eloquently states, it is very lonely on the extra mile.

The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition.

Ryan Holiday

I remember as a child reading a comic book, something that many young kids do, and I remember this one particular edition of Sgt. Rock in which part of the team that Sgt. Rock was working with wanted to take what appeared to be an easier route while out on patrol. Sgt. Rock and this element of the team got into a debate about which direction to take, and in the end, the group broke into two sections with one section taking the “easy” route and the other taking the route preferred by Sgt. Rock. At the end of the story, it turned out that the “easy” way ended up with challenging terrain to cross and ended in an ambush in which everyone in that squad was killed. I can still now remember the last frame of that adventure in which Sgt. Rock says something like, “The easy way is the hard way; the easy way can get you killed. The hard way is the easy way. There is no easy way.” And even today, during the training of the elite U.S. Navy SEALs, there is a tongue in cheek reminder that the only “easy” day was yesterday.

While I don’t often draw leadership lessons from childhood comic books, the idea that there is no easy way is nearly universal. Regardless of the crowds of people searching for quick-fix solutions, the general agreement amongst leadership experts, personal development coaches and others is that there is no way around the challenges that you face in your life. Simply said, to overcome the obstacles that appear in your way, you must find a way to overcome them. Winston Churchill highlights this well in his famous line, “When you find yourself going through hell, keep going.” And Marcus Aurelius, the ancient roman philosopher-emperor maybe says it even more clearly, “What stands in the way becomes the way.”

So, reflect upon the challenges that you have before you and in your life. Identify the obstacles that are preventing you from achieving your greatest life and the truest form and expression of who you are and these things will likely mark out the path you must take to accomplish them. Write down these challenges and then make plans to address them and overcome them. Do not look for workarounds or how to avoid the problem. And do not avoid them. To get beyond these challenges and obstacles, you must go through them.

Louis L’Amour once said to an aspiring young writer, “if you’re going to be a writer, the first essential is to just write.” And for those that do not know who Louis L’Amour is, he is an American novelist who is known as one of the world’s most popular writers with over 105 novels and short story collections created over his 80-year life span. Stephen King, maybe a more recent literary example, also talks about the necessity to write (and to read) to become a great writer. In fact, it seems intuitively obvious that to write great books, articles, prose or poetry, one must be dedicated to the craft and spend the time writing. Many writing coaches speak of the discipline to write at least one page a day, every day. And it is the discipline to write every day, despite the inspiration to do so or not, that creates a great writer.

No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.

Buddha

L’Amour and King tangentially highlight the insights provided by the research of K. Andres Ericsson, who postulates that it takes 10 000 hours of deliberate practice to achieve the expert level skills of performance. While it could be argued that the actual number could be more or less than the 10 000 hrs noted, what is certain is that it takes a lot of practice and an extraordinary level of commitment by the athlete, artist, or professional to develop these skills. For without this intense level of commitment, it is unlikely that anyone would persevere through the pain of training, the emotional toll of defeats, or the mental challenges encountered along the way to develop the skills to succeed in their chosen field.

In fact, according to Angela Lee Duckworth, the most significant determining factor of success is a person’s level of grit (or perseverance). This conclusion is supported by Carol Dweck’s research on mindset that suggests that a growth mindset is needed to succeed, one in which challenges are embraced, and failures are learning opportunities and not setbacks. These are complementary concepts, and when combined with Ericsson’s deliberate practice research, provides a roadmap to success: be clear on your goals, cultivate a growth mindset, and pursue them with an unrelenting passion and perseverance to develop the skills necessary to be successful.

I was recently reminded of the concept that “the ability to shape our destiny lies in our ability to persevere through the unknown.” I believe this statement to be accurate as it has represented itself regularly throughout my life and those of others as well. Its essence is pure, that while we may not know what is about to come, we shape our future by deciding not to give up but to persevere through the uncertainty and accomplish our goals despite the unknown.

I think this shows up in all of our lives. For example, when you watch an infant learn to walk for the first time, you see a degree of struggle and resilience to succeed. You see a determination and perseverance to try and try again until they are successful in standing and then walking. The infant is not worried about what happens after they start walking, only that walking is part of the future they are determined to shape and develop. The infant also doesn’t give up in trying to walk after only a few unsuccessful attempts but continues to strive despite the failures and setbacks. The infant doesn’t ever give up but perseveres until successful.  

And I think everything in our lives occurs similarly as the example of the infant learning to walk. The only difference is that our consciousness often intervenes and provides a whole list of reasons why we should give up, quit, feel embarrassed or ashamed. Our consciousness often sabotages the pursuit of our most significant goals and most important passions. And too often, as a result, we do give up. We give up because we’re not good at it, or we tried it a couple of times and but can’t figure it out. We quit or don’t even try, because we are afraid of looking silly or foolish, or are concerned with what other people may say or think.

If we put these reasons in the context of the infant learning to walk, we would stop the child from future attempts to walk after only a few tries. How silly would this be to prevent a child from learning to walk after only a few tries! We, as adults, have much to learn from this child. Their perseverance and focus in learning and succeeding despite failures and setbacks is a life lesson that we all need to be reminded; that we all need to remember and to apply. 

Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look.

Marcus Aurelius

As an adult, you can use your intellect to help you in the pursuit of your desires. You can learn in a much better way than merely trial and error (like the child learning to walk does). You can employ a variety of learning mechanisms to help accelerate your learning process and reduce the time necessary to succeed (and the number of stumbles and failures along the way). You can employ research, instruction, coaching, and a mentor to help you achieve. You can get feedback from others and consciously reflect upon your progress to guide the adjustments you need to get better and to succeed. And then, you can try a new plan and record the outcome. You can be much more rigorous in your experimental approach than simple trial and error. And hopefully, this will help you to succeed much faster.

The lessons from the child, however, are so relevant. While a child can get frustrated very quickly and only after a few unsuccessful attempts, they also get past their frustration speedily and are much quicker to try again than adults. While adults hang onto their failure for a long time and often use it as a barrier to prevent trying again, children often don’t follow this path. And as parents, we coach and mentor children to try again and to work through their frustration. Frustration is a natural part of the learning process and is part of the journey to fulfillment. We must learn to embrace our disappointment and use it to fuel our perseverance. 

The inspiration to succeed is all around us. The stories are many, and while sometimes we like to think these success stories are the result of genetic differences, financial savvy, or the “lucky break,” the truth is that the perseverance to succeed is simply the only difference, which means we all can achieve. There is no shortage of success; it is not in short supply or at risk of being rationed. It is available to all who are willing to face their frustrations and to those willing to persevere, and here are a just few examples:

• Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, after being cut by the last professional football team he played for, had a total of 7 dollars to his name when he returned to Miami in 1995.
• Phil Knight and Bill Bowerman started Nike with a contract to sell Japanese made track shoes in the United States and a waffle iron to make their first shoes.
• J.K. Rowling wrote the first Harry Potter book while a single mother and on welfare, living in a desolate apartment while going through a divorce. Twelve different publishers rejected her first manuscript before it was picked up and published.
• At age 11, Lionel Messi was cut from his team because a growth hormone deficiency left him smaller than the other kids.
• At age 65, Colonel Sanders didn’t let 1009 rejections from various restaurants to buy his chicken recipe stop him from realizing his dream; he started his own restaurant.
• The novelist, Stephen King, had his first novel “Carrie” rejected 30 times before it was finally published.
• Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team; and went on to become one of the greatest NBA players ever.
• Tracy down the street was told by her high school guidance counsellor that “University wasn’t for her.” At age 25, she went back to school and completed a degree.
• And John at work who trained for two years before completing his first marathon.

Don’t expect to be motivated every day to get out there and make things happen. You won’t be. Don’t count on motivation. Count on Discipline.

Jocko Willink

Perseverance is personal, and it’s a choice that we all have to make. If we want to achieve the success that we desire and to pursue our passions, we must be willing to commit to persevering through the failures. Our destiny resides in our perseverance, for it is what transcends the unknown and shapes our consciousness to excel. And how we judge and interpret the experience internally makes all the difference. There is no easy button in our lives; the obstacle is the way.

A pdf of this article is available here.

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